Half of me is around the world. The other half is hollow.

I miss my brother and my dad with an intensity that rivals my need for oxygen. In fact there are days when I believe I’m either asthmatic or asphyxiating due to my difficulty with the most basic human functions of inhaling and exhaling. There are times when I am so completely lost in trying to connect with them that I find myself gasping for air as though I’ve resurfaced, breathless and panicked from an unidentifiable abyss. The fear of drowning while standing still is ever present. Without them I merely float along, empty and starving for their presence.

To be full of nothing is very heavy indeed.